Coast Guard as an oceanographer and
meteorologist. I took water samples
from three miles down and could
prognosticate the weather up to three
days ahead. May not sound like much
with today's weather satellites but in
them days sonny, that was something.
(Prognosticate is five syllables, see how
far I've come). Couldn't exactly say they
were the good old days but they weren't
too bad, in retrospect. I got to not only
see the sea but Hawaii, Alaska, japan,
Guam, Wake island and Yap. Ever heard
of Yap,? You haven't missed a thing.
What I remember most about Midway
island were the beautiful birds: the
ever-hovering Fairy Tern, the thousands
of Canaries and the Goony birds. On my
way through I visited San Francisco and
managed to get stationed there for my
last year in the military. I fell in love, not
only with the city but with several
delightful Ladies. Thank you, I love you
all.
While there I happened to visit a gallery
called Don Conard Mobiles in Ghirardelli
Square. I looked at the then new styles
of welded and soldered metal sculptures
and thought: "hey, I can do that!"... And I
did, for the next thirty years or so.
I have had sculptures exhibited in
several San Francisco Art galleries and a
Museum in Santa Rosa. My work is on all
continents except Antarctica. (Penguins
get their tongues stuck to the cold
metal.) And all this time I modeled in
various scales and subjects.
Had enough yet?
States in 1957, we came over on a
steamship. Exciting, right? Like going on
a cruise, right? NOT. I was seasick five
of the six days and I couldn't have cared
less if when arriving into New York
Harbour the Statue of Liberty had
reached out and plucked me off the boat.
Not knowing a word of English was
interesting and a real challenge. I
remember certain episodes that
unfortunately do not do well in print, no
matter how funny. Within six months I
could carry a conversation on just about
anything that didn't have words longer
than three syllables. Such is the power
of total immersion. I feel lucky to have
gone to a Bilingual private school, the
"Ecole Francaise Internationale de
Washington (D.C.)".
It was owned and run by my
Grandmother and an Uncle. Stressful
because I had to always do well and
never goof off. Have you ever had your
father as a teacher? Same thing. Have
you ever been the only student in a class
that you taught yourself because there
were no teachers available? I did, aced
it too. Showed them. That particular
class was Biology.
After graduating from High School I
started my Sophomore year at the
University of Florida where I studied
Entomology. I graduated in 1964. For
those of you into football, Steve Spurier
was in my graduating class. While doing
post graduate studies at the University
of Maryland I discovered a new genus of
wasp now called Forcipestricis gazeaui
Burkes. It's the size of a pinhead, don't
worry about it. Then I was drafted...
before it had had two feet of muddy water in it things might have turned out differently. From 1995 through
1997 we went through seven floods. Granted that a couple of them were only a foot over the flood line but we
did have several that are euphemistically called "catastrophic floods". In January 1995 the water reached 48
1/2 feet, in March of the same year it got to 45 feet and for New Year's 1997 again to 48 feet. In case you are
wondering my place floods at 50 feet.
What most people don't realize is that during a flood you not only have plenty of muddy water to contend with
but also the contents of all the upstream garbage cans, dumpsters and septic tanks. Delightful. One thing is
that during a flood like these three you become totally isolated, literally an island, and just can't get anywhere
from here. The sight of a big Chinook helicopter hovering nearby can be very comforting. In spite of all this I'm
still here.
The area is rich in narrow gauge and standard gauge railroad lore. I am a stone's throw away from the old
North Pacific Coast Railroad and about fifteen miles from the famed Sturgeon Sawmill.
Shuts them right up. Similarly when someone asked what my spirit animal was I said the
earthworm figuring that would end it right there. Answer: "how nice, you're surrounded by the
Earth Mother" !!! Can't win.
Earth.
When I was six I remember going camping with my parents in some pasture somewhere, a cow walked into our
tent one morning, but that's another story; the property had a small cave in it that you had to crawl into, of
course being small I had no problem with that. It was my introduction to caving. Later while in College there
was a cave I used to explore. You had to go down a fifty foot chimney using your feet and back, crawl around
through very tight squeezes (on your side while pushing your helmet ahead of you) miles of galleries and
several levels made it an interesting place. Why is it your batteries run down when you are the furthest away
from the entrance?
Air.
Also while in college I decided to jump out of perfectly good airplanes for the heck of it. Eighty times I did this.
Ever stepped out at 15,000 feet? I have landed in somebody's front yard at night - to the utter thrill of the kids
who lived there- in five trees at once, started a jump in 1967 and landed in 1968. I also participated in
exhibition jumps, like dropping in at school and sport events. This was before the new generation of parachutes
came to be (we called then flying band aids then). I was what is known as a "pioneer", jumping modified Navy
or Air Force parachutes, known as "cheapos". These were the days my friend.
Water.
While in the Coast Guard I once went swimming in the middle of the Pacific. We had a small boat patrol the
area with small arms and look-outs on the ship, also with small arms. This was before the movie "Jaws" ever
came out. What was so special about that? Well, the bottom of this pool was about 13,000 feet down, a very
strange feeling. I also became a decent body surfer and once shot the curl in ten foot waves, quite a thrill. Not
quite as much as watching waves strip the Wahines butt-naked on the beach, but close.
Fire.
When I first moved to Monte Rio I joined the volunteer fire department. Nothing like putting the first drop of
water on a burning house, walking into a smoke-filled building or watching a tall redwood go up like a roman
candle to get the adrenaline going. Maybe next life I can be a smoke jumper? The first fire I ever went to was a
surreal experience: instead of being a spectator I was the one people were looking at. Lymes disease pretty
much put a stop to that not to mention getting too old to climb hills with all the equipment on my back.
Space?
The absence of elements? Who knows, with tourist space travel becoming close to reality I may get there yet.
Of course the price of admission is pretty steep ($100,000.12) but then you can't take it with you can you?
overwork and being grossly underpaid in a job I learned to hate. Don't you just love owning your own business?
Once in a while the Fates do agree on working together and on a very special day last August a young woman
walked into the store. It was clear she needed a friend and a helping hand too. We got to know one another and
helped each other and by and by we both climbed out of our dark places. We spent a lot of time together and
became best friends, roommates, and have enjoyed a very special platonic relationship ever since.
So here we are folks, Julie once told me that she owned me her life but if it hadn't been for her you wouldn't
be reading this. A most amazing and fascinating woman, she taught me a lot about the Internet and web sites,
craniosacral therapy and other wonderful things. Julie I love you, thank you.
